Post boxing

I'm so tired :(

boxing day

and this year I've got a punching bag.

Xmas

I love playing with sparklers. And I bought a bow tie :)

Eve

Merry Christmas! Xmas this year is not going to be spent entirely alone. However, so much in life have changed. Let's see how 2010 is going to take me.

Gotta try to smile!

i walk the streets

to stop my weeping.

Bringing jumbo to the vet was one hell of an experience. The drool, the fur and how gingerly I navigated through the traffic and lanes was quite a feat with a 50kg moving blob that totally obscure my rear window vision. Thank God the ordeal was over when I finally reached home with stains on my shirt here and there.

Sometimes I wonder why my life has taken a such a turn. My family problem is yet settled as my Dad is such a jerk. I haven't seen him for days and I don't really wish to. As long as my credit cards remain active enough for me to survive, I dont think I really want to talk to him. Even my bro felt like confronting him for his ways. He's just simply incorrigible. Years over years he has hidden those secrets away from us And we live our life through a fake facade of a happy family. What dreams of living together, staying happy and all is gone.

Apparently I don't think anyone can really understand how I feel. I used to be a perfectionist. But I guess I can't be one when my family itself is not even perfect. I wonder if all these nonsense actually played a part in my abysmal result. I'm sick and tired of this life. I really do wish to start all over again.

Try waking up alone. Being in an empty house for days and days and days. There's no breakfast or lunch or dinner to great you downstairs. There's only the sound of silence.

I don't know how much longer I can take this. But I must be strong enough to be independent. I'm no longer a kid now, and I must learn how to take my first step out of this forsaken house.

the fallen

I can never ever smell the air above. That exact same feeling which I had three years ago, 2.50. It's staring at me.

I don't know where have I fucked up. All the coffee, all the late nights. Am I not hardworking enough? Or is it that other people are just better? These words of consolation doesn't really lift my spirits in anyway.

Crestfallen. But I will still wear that smile and proudly say that, I got a 2.625.

I will work harder.

and that's what they always said.

packkk

it feels different packing and cleaning up old stuff.

it seems like going through time as you uncover these time capsules.